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Saturday, October 17, 2009

Happy Birthday Zoe!!

Dear Zoe.

You are THREE today!!! Seems like time just wants to take off and run faster and faster! You are turning into quite the little girl. Spunky, intelligent, happy, loving, and at times...

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disobedient and mean. But I think the end part will pass with time. ;) There is never a dull moment with you Zoe girl. You are constantly on the go... sitting still is just so boring! ;)

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Despite the times where I am fed up, I still love you, and will always love you! Slow down your growing, though, would ya? ;)

Love you!

Mommy

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Man! Of all days to get really sick, today was not the day I had in mind. I woke up this morning feeling incredibly crappy. I think I am getting or have the flu. Swine Flu? I do not know. If this is Swine Flu... then you all want to hibernate until the Swine Flu is no longer a risk. I haven't felt this sick in a really long time. The high today was 102 degrees and I would go from hot and sweaty to freezing cold in seconds. That was interested! ;)

Anyway. Despite being sick, I did push through and here we are. It's 8:50pm. Zoe is asleep, and I am going to lay on the couch after I am done writing this post. I don't feel well enough to sit here, and type forever, so I will copy and paste a post I wrote about Zoe several months ago. It tells the incredible tale of Zoe's life. Zoe didn't come into this world at 40 weeks... I know a lot of you know Zoe's story, but let me share it with you again anyways...

What does 10 weeks mean to you?

On October 17, 2006 it meant being scared out of my mind. Why? Let me tell you a story. [some of you know this story. :) ]

It was October 16th, 2006. I was 30 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. It was also my dad's birthday. My husband, Angelina and I went to my parent's house for dinner to celebrate. My stomach begins aching like I ate too much. It becomes a regular coming and going stomach ache. We realize this. Begin timing. Coming every 8-9 minutes. Weird.

I call my doctor after a little while... she says "Go to the hospital." Husband [Mike] and I say "see you later" to mom and dad. Give Angelina a kiss. Leave for hospital. I am sort of freaking out in my mind. Wondering what is going on, and fearing my body is betraying me.

Get to the hospital. Hooked up to monitors. Things are fine. Until the nurse checks me... "Shealynn. You are 6cm dilated. We can't stop your labor."

That's when the world stops. Only for a moment. Everything pauses. I remember my mind blanking for a few seconds [which seemed like forever]. Then thinking, "What did she just say?" "What?" "NO! I am only 30 weeks pregnant!!!"

I come back to reality. Mike is incredible. Holding my hand. Telling me everything is going to be OK, as he always does. Because he's like that. He's great at comforting. I can no longer hold back tears. I am afraid. I am confused, and stunned, and wishing it wasn't happening. Wishing that Zoe would stay put for 10 more weeks. But she wasn't. She was coming early. Time to face it.

My doctor comes in. I LOVE her. She is very sweet, very comforting, and very nurturing. Like every great doctor should be. She must have seen the fear on my face. She holds my hand. Tells us that Zoe's survival rate is 99%. My fear temporarily subsides. Good. She has a 99% chance of survival. She is a girl, which ups her chances as well. We are told girls tend to fight harder. I am relieved... mostly.

I opt out of an epidural. I am not in much pain, so don't think it's necessary. Who was I kidding? 1 hour later. I was begging for it. It was too late. :( Child birth is hard to describe. The pain is so intense and I am writhing in pain. Can't focus. I beg for something. I get Demoral. It does not take the pain away. It makes me feel drunk. I feel like I have had several beers. That did not help my focus. A NICU team comes in. Prepares for Zoe's arrival. 10 weeks early.

I won't go into nasty details. But, after a while, Zoe was born. Mike teared up. Saying over and over "She's crying! She's crying!" Then I cried.

Zoe Rae
3 lbs 4oz
17 inches
Born at 2:41am 10/17/06
10 weeks premature

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I am allowed to quickly kiss her. Then she is rushed off to the NICU. Since she is born at 30 weeks, she is considered "Very Premature". She had to be taken to another hospital. 1 hour after birth, Zoe is brought into our room. She is intubated and in an incubator on a stretcher ready for transport. I am not allowed to touch her, hold her kiss her. This is hard for me. Even now [2 1/2 years later]... I am getting teary. LOL!

Zoe is transported to a hospital 20 minutes away. I feel empty. Just gone into labor, but my baby isn't there. Mike comforts me. He is amazing. I cry and sleep, cry and sleep.

9am, we are up and ready to leave the hospital, and see Zoe. She was so tiny! I remember seeing her and being so shocked at her tiny*ness! So little. She was doing great!

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Long story short...

Zoe was in the hospital for 5 1/2 weeks. Her lowest weight was 2lbs 12oz

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Leaving the hospital she weighed 4lbs 3oz

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She was TINY! :)

We surprised Angelina with her arrival home. Her sister was home to stay. Angelina was over the moon. We all cried. :) A happy ending to a scary time.

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And look now how she's grown!

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Amazing.


****

Thank you for listening to my story. Any one of you had a premature baby?





15 comments:

Celeste said...

*Happy, Happy Birthday to Zoe!* 3 is such a cool age :)

My sister Chloe was a preemie, I was 2 when she was born, but I still rememeber some of the events surrounding her birth. I remember my mom & dad going to the hospital, but not coming back for a few days and my grandparents came to watch me for those few days. Once my parents came back, I was told Chloe had been born...but she didn't come home with them. This really baffled me...I wanted to see my new sister NOW! :) Also, I was too young to go visit my sister in the ICU, so my parents made video tapes of them with her at the hosptial so I could see her. She was born on May 8 - and I believe she came home on May 23rd (so really, she wasn't there long for a baby born a month early).

I can still remember the moment when I was able to hold Chloe for the first time...that day I got way more than a sister...but a best friend for life. :)

Sarah said...

Happy Birthday Zoe!!

My son was born at 36 weeks, just borderline full term. Do they know why you went into labor so early?

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

Thanks for sharing a story with an amazing Zoe ending!!

Chelle said...

Happy birthday, sweet girl! Such a beautiful birth story...so sweet. Gave me goosebumps reading it.

As for the Swine Flu...I am so sorry you have it. I had it for the past week--miserable! If you get seen in the first 48 hours they can prescribe you Tamiflu which Maddie started her first day that she had started running a temp and she is great now!

Feel better sweetie and I hope you get plenty of sleep. {{{hugs}}}

Color [Me] Happy said...

Yesterday a friend of mine had her little boy at 31 weeks. He was delivered at 3lbs 9oz and 17 inches long. They named him Elisha Alexander. I went to see him in the NICU 4 hours after and took some pictures for the family. It is amazing how much we all take life for granted! Thanks for our amazing story. I will share this with the mother! Glad to hear that everything turned out well and that you can now look back and fully understand what was happening. Writing is such a theraputic thing to do!
Happy Sunday!

Denissa said...

Happy birthday Zoe!! Cutie pie :)

Sara said...

Zoe is a beautiful little girl. And, what a wonderful story of her birth...

Whimsical Creations said...

Happy Birthday Zoe!! She is a beautiful little girl.

Both of my children arrived early. My son was born 5wks early and my daughter was 3weeks 1day early.

I wrote about my son's early arrival here
http://melaniescrafts.blogspot.com/2009/07/take-me-back-tuesday_21.html

Tess said...

Happy Birthday Zoe, you are an amazing and wonderful little girl.
Yesterday was my brothers birthday too. Though he was not premature I can remember thinking how tiny he was when mommy brought him home. I was 8 at the time.
Thanks for sharing Zoe's story with us again.

Sheree said...

happy birthday, zoe! i had a premature baby, my oldest was 6 weeks early.

Tigerlilly said...

Hello Shea & Miss Zoe! Happy Birthday Zoe & MANY MORE!!!!I too had a premie - she was born at 28 wks- weighed in a 2-lbs/11oz! Lived in Greeley, Co. Went in to labor unexpectantly like you & was driven by ambulance to Denver which was 60 miles away. I had to leave her there at the hospital for 2 months-drove every wknd to be with her. Pretty scary when the phone rang in the middle of the night-was a wrong number, you can imagine my fear! Sarah is now a grown woman of 30. Zoe is so sweet-lQQks like a fun cRzY kid for sure :)

Porsche said...

I had a preemie baby, 7 weeks early. She stayed in the NICU for 30 days. One horrible, terrible day, I thought we were going to lose her. She had to go from the eat and grow NICU to the very sick baby NICU. She is 17 months old now. Gross motor delayed, but she is catching up. NICU baby stories make me cry. Been there, know the heart ache involved. See how hard it is on older sister that you have to leave a couple of times every day. We were blessed that there was a hospital with a level 3 NICU 7 minutes from our house. So I could go there a couple of times a day to feed her.
Sorry for the novel!

chefamily said...

Wow! That is some scary stuff! I have 4 little girls, no preemies, though. I was very lucky with boring pregnancies and births. LOL!
She sure is a cutie pie!

Trish said...

Happy Birthday Zoe... Love the name!

My daughter was born at 24 weeks weighing 1 pound 11 ounces... dropping down to 1 pound 5 oz!

She went through a lot including 6 major surgeries with 4 long months in the NICU... about an hour away from our home :(

She is 5 now and she is a healthy, funny girl! She does live with cerebral palsy, but has an extremely positive attitude even though she can't do some of the "girlie" things she would like to do, like ballet class and things like that!

Sounds like Zoe has some spunk in her :)

Laura said...

I have twins that were born 7 weeks early. They spent 5 weeks in NICU and are 5 months old now.